Alright, gentlemen. You’ve got a hot girl in mind, your smart phone in hand, and you’re wondering exactly how to make it happen: you’re wondering how to flirt with a girl over text.
Before we get started, let me be really upfront – this is written from a girl’s perspective. I will tell you exactly what works, what doesn’t, and the kinds of signals to give depending on the message that you want to send.
I’m going to assume you’ve got a girl in mind, and you’ve got her number. If not, you should check out these guys. If so, keep reading.
So a few things upfront:
- Use proper English, and try to spell correctly. This makes a great first impression, and you never know up front how much a woman will value this. Smart men who can express themselves articulately is a huge turn-on. As you become more friendly, you can devolve into abbreviations and IM speak. But you never want to blow it with a great girl because she assumes you’re an idiot.
- Show up. Sometimes just showing up is half the battle. Often a guy tells a girl he’ll text or call, and doesn’t; or waits so long that the interest and the anticipation has gone way. Don’t let yourself get so hung up on the clever hook that you actually fail to send the text. Hey, how are you? is a decent start.
- Have some class. Texting a girl you know the dirtiest thing you can think of, before you have a connection or have reached that level, isn’t likely to get you far. If you’re thinking that’s something you’d never do, you’d be surprised. I can say from experience that it happens, and it can be a deal breaker even before we get started.
So why is texting a great way to flirt with girls, get the chemistry going and keep it burning?
Texting allows you to connect on your own time, take the time to think about what you’re going to say, and compose smart responses. It lowers the pressure, rejection is way less harsh, and avoids that awkward getting to know you conversation. It also allows you to find out more about her, and figure out what she likes.
So where to get started:
1. Remember, flirty, not raunchy. “You looked amazing the other night,” is awesome. “I want to do you up against my car right now.” Less so, at least to start.
2. Ask questions. Find out about her day, find out how she’s doing. Ask a thought provoking question, something that will intrigue her and get her thinking.
3. Remember, texting is a medium that works best for being funny, being light, for banter. It’s not the place to pour your heart out about fluffy’s tragic death or why you are still scarred from the locker room incident of 2008.
4. Be responsive, but not desperate. You don’t want to answer every text, nor do you want to do so immediately. Work the principle of scarcity – things that are harder to get are innately hotter.
If you’re looking for great examples of things to say, and don’t want to spend a lot of money, I totally recommend this guy. His success with women is astounding, and he gives tons of examples you can put into practice right away.
So happy texting and let me know how you do.
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