How to Send a Dirty Text

Should I send a dirty text?

One of the sexiest parts of bringing dirty talk into your relationship is taking it out of the bedroom.  Dirty talk is simply the art of verbal seduction: using words and images to arouse your partner and make them count the seconds until they get back to you.   With husbands and boyfriends glued to their computers, iPads, and smartphones, one of your best weapons can be perfecting the art of the sexy text.

Being erotic in 160 characters or less is an art form!  But don’t let that scare you off.  This is actually good news – by constraining your space a little bit, it’ll actually help you be really effective in the long run.  You may also learn a few skills that you can bring directly into the bedroom.

1. Short means targeted: You can’t describe everything you intend to do to your partner tonight in a single text.   Pick a theme or one particular act or point that you want to convey.  “I’m not wearing panties.”  “I can’t wait to try this new toy that just arrived.”  “If you were here, I’d be bringing out the whipped cream.”  You get it.

2.  Use active, direct sentences: Save the flowery language for another medium, ladies.  Active voice and strong verbs will help evoke the kind of visceral response you’re hoping to get.   Basically you’re looking for some variation on the the “I will X you” type of sentence.

3.  Go for vivid and exciting: Use texts to convey desire and anticipation, or use short snippets of description to help your partner visualize what you intend to do.

4.  Don’t forget to involve the senses: Our five senses are completely wrapped up in the way that we seduce our partners.  The way you feel, taste, or sound is likely to drive him mad.  Consider an occasional text that brings in one of the five senses.  “I can’t wait to moan in your ear when you touch me tonight.”

5.  Favorite topics: Don’t be afraid to use the text message as a way to tap into your partner’s favorite fantasies or activities.  “Imagine if I were dressed up like a secretary and came to meet you for a lunch date.”

The art of the sex-message is a great way to build anticipation and stay connected when you’re apart.  But remember, any message you send via text message, email, or instant messenger is in writing and your partner might hang onto it forever.  So make sure you trust them, and that it’s something you live with hanging around for awhile.

For more tips on turning up the heat with texts, check out The Ultimate Guide to Talking Dirty. This book is awesome for MANY reasons, one of them being that it devotes a full chapter to sending hot text messages to your partner.

Want to overcome your shyness in the bedroom and become an unforgettable lover? Be sure to visit our Resources page for some hot talking dirty guides!

Getting Started

Welcome to the How to Talk Dirty Blog!

Our getting started page is designed for just that – to get you started on your path to dirty talking diva!

Here’s what I recommend – keep this page open, and open the recommended links in a new window.   Come back to this page, and let it be your guide.

Are you struggling to feel comfortable dirty talking, or worried you will sound silly?  Start here.

Want a general tutorial in how to think about talking dirty?

Do you want to know more about what turns guys on about dirty talk?

Starting small?  Think about the power of a moan.

Need some inspiration?

Working technology to get him hot?  Check out dirty text examples, learn how to rock the smart phone, and how to think about dirty texting.

Ready to take a deeper dive?  Check out our recommended resources.

Dirty Talk Examples: 80 Dirty Talk Phrases

You asked for it, so here goes – the mega-post of 80 dirty talk examples and ideas of what to say when you’re talking dirty, so that your man thinks about you all the time.

He’ll be so attracted to you and distracted by your steamy words that he won’t be looking at other women, won’t be able to wait to get home from work to see you, will be anxiously awaiting your next call or text, and won’t be able to get you out of his mind.

It’ll be exciting….like when your relationship was new and everything was hot……only better.

You will feel sexy and desired. You’ll feel connected to your man on a deeper level. And you’ll feel sexually powerful, confident, and in control.

Dirty talk is a skill; you can learn it.

So let’s dive in and rock it ladies. Let me know how this works out for you.

Need Immediate Help?

Before we dive into the long, long list, let me throw out a recommendation. I occasionally get emails from women who need IMMEDIATE, comprehensive help. They have an urgent situation:

– a relationship that is in danger because it’s lacking fire
– specific burning questions that they need answered, now
– some event that’s caused a huge blow to their self-esteem
– a feeling of starting from Ground Zero, and needing to start in the beginning and walk through a step-by-step system to take them from nervous to dirty talking diva….tonight

You can definitely put it all together yourself. But it takes time, and practice. You can shave time off your learning curve, enhance your confidence, and be more supported by using a resource like this Dirty Talk Tips System. If you can, splurge and get the package – the bonuses are FANTASTIC. It’s also totally discrete to purchase, which is part of why I recommend it.

It’s a relatively small investment, and it can make all difference. When I was personally just getting started in the bedroom and needed immediate help, this is the book I turned to. The first night I read it, it completely changed my sex life with my husband!

OK – so now, onto the good stuff:

80 Things to Say When You’re Dirty Talking

In Person & Feeling Shy

1. Moan: In a recent Cosmo magazine poll, 60% of guys said that they were totally turned by moans and sighs in the bedroom. When you’re in person (or even on the phone) and you’re not sure what to say, moan. Show you’re desire that way.
2. Sigh: If a moan feels inappropriate (like during a gentler love making session), sigh (happy sighs only, though!) when he touches you in a way you like.
3. Yesses, OMGs, and That Feels So Good: Do not underestimate the power of sounding like a porn star. Okay, I’m teasing, but think about what sex sounds like in an adult video (or even just on TV if you’re more conservative). Engage. Does it feel good? Say yes. Are you seeing stars? Say Oh my God. Do you want more? Tell him how good it feels.
4. Basic narration: Where is he touching you? “I love it when you touch my [insert appropriate here].” What is he doing now? What do you wish he would do next? Tell him.
5. Feelings: What’s the old saying – people remember how you make them feel. I think that the average person has no idea what their actions and words do to your heart – so tell him. Do you feel nervous, excited, wondering what he’ll do next? Are you overcome with love, with desire? Does he make you feel beautiful? Share your emotions. That’s powerful stuff.
6. I go crazy when you look at me like that: you could also say talk to me like that, text me like that, are near me like that….whatever is context appropriate.
7. I am so turned on right now.
8. I feel so alive right now. Or You make me feel so alive.

Thinking of You From a Distance

9. I was in such a hurry this morning that I forgot to wear panties: self-explanatory and gets ‘em every time. Bonus points if you’re also wearing a short skirt.
10. I get so wet thinking about you: Direct and dirty.
11. Do you remember the time we [insert your sexiest memorable experience here]: Evoke a sexy time you spent somewhere special or an act that you know he especially enjoyed. Offer an encore performance.
12. When I think about you, I touch myself. Bonus if you can sing it, of course.
13. I can’t stop thinking about you. I need you now: Let them know they are on your mind. Let them know its turning you on. And if you’re feeling adventurous, let him know specifically what you’re thinking or what you’d do to him if he was there.

Kudos: Atta’ Boy

14. You’re the best I’ve ever had: Every guy wants to be the best – so if he is, tell him. If you’re trying to get him there through encouragement, tell him.
15. You’re so big.
16. It feels so good to have you inside me.
17. You are so good at [insert activity here].
18. I love it when you [insert activity here]: there’s a subtle difference with the option above – but basically if a guy is really shy and doesn’t like compliments, you can phrase it this way.
19. You have the best [insert favorite word here]/body/etc. I’ve ever seen/had/felt, etc.
20. You are so hot, I can’t wait to [kiss you, lick you, make love to you, etc.]
21. You’re so hard
22. I love the way you kiss me/the way your kisses taste/your kisses curl my toes, etc.
23. I love the way your sexy body feels next to mine.
24. I’ve never had a lover like you before.

Your Wish Is My Command

25. I can’t wait to do [x] to you [tonight] or [the next time I see you].
26. You can do anything you want to me tonight.
27. If you were here I would let you do [fantasy activity] to me: note – if this isn’t something you actually want to do with him (oral sex, S& M, whatever it is), leave it out. No need to get your signals mixed.
28. What could I do tonight to please you?
29. I’m your sex slave. What do you want to do with me?
30. You can take me like that.
31. Do you want me to strip for you? I’m taking off my [narrate it a little bit, and punctuate it with things like “do you like that?”]

The Main Event

32. I love it when you make me come.
33. I’m going to come.
34. Come all over me.
35. I want to feel you come.
36. I love the taste/feel of you coming.
37. Come with me
38. Come for me
39. I want to come for you


40. I want to feel your hands all over me/all over my body.
41. I want to feel your lips on mine.
42. I can’t wait to feel your tongue on me
43. My body is aching for you
44. I haven’t stopped thinking about you/[insert body part here] all day

The Magic Touch
45. Your touch makes me so horny
46. I want it so bad
47. Kiss/lick/touch me there
48. I can’t wait to feel you inside me
It’s All About Timing

49. Take me now
50. I want you now
51. I need you now
52. Take me – I can’t wait
53. Do me right now

Bits That Work in Various Situations

54. Kiss me harder/like you mean it…
55. That feels good
56. More of that…
57. Don’t stop!
58. Harder!
59. Get ready for the most amazing sex of your life.
60. Do you like that?
61. Is that how you want it?
62. Can you handle that?
63. Yeah baby, f*ck me/that [insert choice of body part here]
64. Give me more
65. Say my name
66. [[or, say his name]]
67. I’m so horny for you.
68. Louder! Be even louder, I want to hear you.
69. Tell me what you want. Tell me what you like: This is different phrasing than a question, and said right, can be very sexy in a dominant sort of way.
70. You feel amazing.
71. This feels unbelievable.
72. Pull my hair.
73. Come on my [insert desired body part here]

Naughty Girl

74. I’ve been a naughty girl.
75. I’ve been a bad, bad girl.
76. I’ve been a bad, naughty girl. Spank me.
77. Punish me.
78. Bend me over and….
79. I am so wet…
80. I’m a dirty girl

Want to overcome your shyness in the bedroom and become an unforgettable lover? Be sure to visit our Resources page for some hot talking dirty guides!

Email Shortlink Dirty Talk Case Studies

Three Case Studies on Dirty Talk and Texts:What Worked and What Didn’t

It is commonly known that different tactics and methods work in different ways and have different effects of everyone. When trying to figure out the best tactics to initiate a session of dirty talk or dirty texting, you want to make sure that you personalize the experience to your relationship. Whether you are a beginner or a more seasoned dirty talker, it takes some practice and consideration. Here are some stories of what worked and what didn’t work for different women.


I never thought of myself as being a prude. In fact, I always thought that I was what I liked to describe as a bit “saucy”. I am spontaneous and very open minded in most areas. I am usually the one that takes most of the risks in a relationship. The guys that I have dated usually call me daring and claim that I have taken them to heights that they never imaged, not just sexually. I think outside of the box. When I met Chris, I found out that I was considered pretty tame compared to him.

I was thrown aback a little bit when he first started texting me dirty texts. I did not have any aversion to a little sex talk, but he took it to a completely different level. I really did not feel like it was a term of endearment to be called his dirty little bitch. In fact, I was a bit offended. I did not respond to him and when he came over, I felt uneasy. He asked me what was wrong and I brought up the messages that he sent me. He laughed a bit but got serious when he saw that I was not joking. We talked about it and now I know that he was not trying to be crass. His dirty talk is a verbal equivalent to rough sex.

Now we have some of the hottest dirty talk and text sessions ever. Even a girl like me can be taught some new tricks.


Marcus was my very first boyfriend. We started dating in high school and all the way through college. He was my first everything. My parents are pretty old school and I was raised traditionally. I was always categorized as the goody two shoes.

Marcus was always big on phone sex and he used to get in trouble for running up the phone bill calling those 976 and 900 numbers. When we finally were old enough to get our cell phones, he used to text me these really sexual messages. He was really into the whole dirty talk thing.

I felt awkward even when we were intimate and he talked to me. I started responding to him by simply answering his questions. I said yes a lot. I tried taping myself on the phone to see what I sounded like if I were to talk back to him. It really was not too bad. I was not confident at all. Once I figured out that I sounded hot and talked to him with confidence, he loved it.

We will be married for eight years this year and have two beautiful children and we still talk dirty to each other.


I made the mistake of thinking that dirty talk and texting is a one size fits all. I figured what one boyfriend liked is what any other guys would like. This mistake almost cost me my relationship. I can look back now and laugh in retrospect but it was far from funny at the time.

My old boyfriend used to like me to tell him how bad I was and how I wanted him to do all kinds of things to me. He liked it when I told him how I found other guys attractive and how I could imagine them debasing me in all kinds of dirty ways.

I tried this with my new boyfriend and he flipped out. He really thought that I was either cheating or contemplating cheating. I am so glad that he gave me that chance to explain what my intentions were. He explained to me that imagining another guy touching me not only repulsed him but it also made him angry.  He was really into me telling him specific compliments about his own body, though, and once I focused my efforts there things really took off. We now share a very loving and intimate relationship.

Dirty Talk Examples

dreamstime_16522258-225x300When you’re first starting out with dirty talk, it’s sometimes hard to even imagine what you’d say to get started.   Dirty talk examples are everywhere if you look for them.   Here’s a few ideas of where to get some inspiration:

1. Watch your favorite movie with a great sex scene or witty flirtation.

2. Explore some porn flicks to see what you’re interested in.

3.  Read some erotica.

4. Consult an expert.

We’re including a few to get you started below.  Click here for more dirty talk examples.

  1. “I love the way you kiss me…especially when you kiss me there!”
  2. “I want to get naked with you right now.”
  3. “Do you like the way that feels?”
  4. “Use your mouth on me.”
  5. “I love the things you do with your tongue.”
  6. “You’re so damn gorgeous.”
  7. “Want to see what I really want? Come closer…”
  8. “Tell me what you want.”
  9. “This is going to be the dirtiest night of your life.”
  10. “It drives me crazy when you look at me that way…”
  11. “You taste so good.”
  12. “Come over here and ride me hard.”
  13. “Your wish is my command.”
  14. “I want to feel those sweet lips all over me.”
  15. “I’m going to suck you like a lollipop.”

Want to overcome your shyness in the bedroom and become an unforgettable lover? Be sure to visit our Resources page for some hot talking dirty guides!

Dirty Text Examples

Almost every guy has a cell phone today and that means you have all the access you need to him. The power of a few sexy texts can mean some serious fun.

So you have decided that you would like to send him some dirty tests but you just do not know what to say. Understand that there is not a wrong time to receive a sexy SMS and guys love to have their days interrupted with a little SMS hotness.

kissThere is nothing like being at work, at home, at the store, or anywhere in the world and having someone let you know that you are being thought about and are highly desired. Even though some men act as if they do not like the extra attention, secretly they do.

One of our recommended resources devotes a full chapter to sending sexy texts, and offers a thousand other tips for turning up the heat. If you are interested in making your partner hot with a little sexting, consider checking out The Ultimate Guide to Talking Dirty. In the meantime, here are a few dirty text examples that can get your next session of sexting started.

Hey Sexy, I cannot stop thinking about last night!

This short line opens the door to some real hot talk. This is an ego stroker, which is always a good thing when it comes to men. Many men are concerned with their virility and performance in the bedroom. This is the perfect opportunity to let him know that he did a great job and left an impression.

I am so hot and horny for you right now!

Everyone likes to feel desired and this dirty text lets him know that he is all over your mind right now. This will lead into hot and heavy sex SMS because he is sure to respond by asking you what exactly you are thinking. Be descriptive and tell him exactly what is on your dirty little mind.

What do you want me to do to you tonight?

There is no better motivation to get through a rough day than knowing that you have some loving waiting for you when you get home. Men love to feel catered to and letting him tell you exactly what he wants and how he wants it is an even bigger turn on.This one is surely going to have you on his mind all day long. He may even get home quicker than usual. Be ready when he gets there!

Thinking about your ***** makes me hot.

Here is your chance to accentuate the positive. Fill in the blanks and tell your man what you like best about him. Flattery can go a long way. Do not be shy with the compliments. Men like to be told how attractive they are as much as we do.

Do not worry about feeling like you are sounding cheesy. Your man will appreciate the efforts that you are making toward him and he will reward you accordingly. You can really make a bad or blah day a great one with a few sexy texts.

Dirty texts are nothing to be afraid of and you will get better with practice. When he responds to you, take cues and remember that it is not all about being vulgar. It is all about the passion and sharing that intimacy. Keep practicing and keep texting!

Want to overcome your shyness in the bedroom and become an unforgettable lover? Be sure to visit our Resources page for some hot talking dirty guides!


After spending significant time reading books and guides, talking to experts, and surfing the web, We created The How to Talk Dirty Blog as a labor of love. The idea was to create a place for real women struggling with relationship issues and a desire to learn how to talk dirty….without the spam factor, the porn factor, or the embarrassment factor.

Our goals here at How to Talk Dirty are simple: to empower women to take charge of their relationships; build their confidence to be awesome in and out of the bedroom; and to make these issues discussable without judgment. Becoming comfortable with the concept may not be easy – we sometimes find ourselves struggling after many years of practice and research – but the results are totally worth it.



Are you interested in learning more?   We’re constantly reviewing great products on the market in this space.  Here are a few of our top recommendations.
Talk Dirty to Me

The Ultimate Guide to Talking Dirty

The Ultimate Guide is the compendium of dirty talk: author Denise Brienne pulls together more ideas, more examples, and more encouragement than anything out there.  A must-have for people serious about learning how to turn the heat all the way up.

Dirty Talk: Speak the Language of Lust

Dirty Dialogue: A Good Girl’s Guide To Being Bad

Dirty Dialogue is a great resource for the ladies.  Author Devian Day gets straight to the heart of issues like confidence, fear, and freezing up.  I highly recommend this one as a resource for anyone who is struggling with these issues.

Talk Master

Talking Dirty: A 3 Step System of Mastering the Art of Bedroom Talk

Talking Dirty: A 3 Step System is an exercise system designed to develop and strengthen your dirty talking skills. Talking Dirty provides a number of great exercises and practice steps: so if you’re looking for a model to work with or some exercises to get you started, this is an excellent launch pad. Author Nate Hawking is also working on several sex-related instructional books at the moment. We will be sure to post his new work here as well!



The Nice Girl’s Guide to Talking Dirty

Talking dirty doesn’t need to make you feel dirty. This sexy and fun guide by Dr. Ruth Neustifter, a respected sex educator, shows how to wildly enhance your sexual experience without making you or your lover feel uncomfortable. The Nice Girl’s Guide to Talking Dirty provides everything you need to spice up your sex life, including:

•Tips for overcoming shyness
•Tricks to becoming more confident
•Sample scripts and spicy vocabulary
•Arousing games for exploring fantasies
•Exciting exercises for building intimacy

Master the three levels of dirty talk and go from shy girl to verbal seductress:
1. Heighten desire with sensual descriptions
2. Seduce with expressions of lust
3. Explore fantasies with trust and openness


The Fine Art Of Erotic Talk: How To Entice, Excite, And Enchant Your Lover With Words

A whispered term of endearment, a flirtatious phrase, a secret suggestion, a cry of passion–words can be the most intimate gift that lovers share. This guide to their sensual power invites us to explore the erotic potential in verbal communication, as sexuality counselor and seminar leader Bonnie Gabriel shows how words can arouse desire, reveal and fulfill fantasies, and infuse lovemaking with romance and fire.

Bonnie’s book is an excellent resource for beginners who are exploring the art of talking dirty with their partners. It offers a variety of  case studies from real couples and phrases you can use in and outside of the bedroom.


Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover: Lust-Inducing Lingo and Titillating Tactics for Maximizing Your Pleasure

Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover by acclaimed relationship expert Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright provides couples with engaging exercises and dialogues that will introduce the art of erotic talking into their sex lives. Readers will learn how to use sex talk to heat up foreplay, safely explore fantasies, and create anticipation that leads to hotter sex and bigger climaxes. Specific exercises will help readers get past inhibitions that could trump their game and effectively communicate desires to their partner.

Flirtexting: How to Text Your Way to His Heart

Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, relationship savvy flirtexters, guide their readers into the next generation of love. Not to give too much away, but the secret is having the advantage of time—and the power to keep the ball in her court until she lets it go. Readers will learn how to create the BPT (best possible text), save themselves from sending the right text to the wrong person, master the steps to manipulate a text, know just when to reply, and much more. This is a book that every bold and modern woman with two opposable thumbs will love.


The Dirty Talk Handbook: How to Drive Your Lover Wild

how to talk dirtyThe Dirty Talk Handbook by Evan Michaels and Jess Summers is a great resource for beginners and more experienced dirty talkers. It provides suggestions for hundreds of phrases, and will help set you apart from any lover that your partner has ever had! I highly recommend this guide.



Smokin’ Hot Sex: The Ultimate Women’s Guide

Smokin’ Hot Sex
will reignite your sex life. This guide is a great resource for ladies who want to really turn up the heat with their man! While this is not strictly a guide for talking dirty, it includes a section on talking dirty as well as many excellent ideas for other ways to bring some spice back into your love life!



100 Great Sex Games for Couples

100 Great Sex Games
isn’t about talking dirty, but it is about bringing some more fun and excitement into the bedroom. Author Michael Webb, relationship expert from the Oprah Show, provides several exciting suggestions for games of passion that will definitely help couples turn up the heat!



Relationship Expert Michael Webb’s Complete e-Book Collection

This is an incredible collection of 16 books, guaranteed to result in absolutely mind-blowing sex for you and your partner. And the best part – the discounted price is absolutely unbelievable! Michael Webb, author and relationship professional, is one of the leading experts in relationships, love, and sex. In this collection, he reveals his secrets for maintaining blissful relationships, having mind-blowing sex, and keeping the passion alive in and outside the bedroom. We highly recommend Michael’s collection to every couple interested in bringing the spark back into their love life!